ten years now
Hello. I'm a person who lives in Laramie, grew up in Laramie, and was in Laramie when the Matt Shepard murder happened. I've been pondering a response for the 10 year anniversary, ever since the New York Times reminded me that the anniversary was coming up.

This MeFi post gave me the push to finally compose a response: Remembering Matthew Shepard | MetaFilter.

I guess I was lucky that I was raised in a way that made hatred of gays seem as strange and stupid as hating people because they were black or Catholic or bald. I've always found people different than me interesting, rather than scary. But I've never been so naive as to think that other people thought the same way as I did.

I was horrified by the brutal assault and later death of Matt Shepard. I found the disappearance of Kristin Lamb, who was in my 4-H club, scary and sad. And when they found her body in the Powell landfill, disposed by her molester/murderer like garbage, I was horrified. When they found the naked, frozen body of Daphne Sulk, a girl one grade ahead of me in school, stabbed to death and left in the woods, I was horrified. It was a terrible year, with several violent deaths that deeply hurt the community. I don't remember so many non-accidental deaths happening so close together in any year before that. But when this all happened, I was in 8th grade, so most major news around that time, both national and local, kind of blends together in my mind.

These wounds haven't healed well for me. I don't know about the rest of the town, but every time Matt comes up in the news I remember the shock, pain, and horror of all of those murders and then the dreadful stress of the news media and intrusive activists and protesters descending on the town after Matt's beating and death, and then again for the trial. And I can't think about Matthew Shepard and all that came with his killing without thinking about the two girls that died without the national grief and rage that Laramie's "hate crime" brought down. [use of quotation marks due to the fact that the crime was probably more complicated than the popular headline and story angle used in the media]

Each of those murders was a terrible tragedy. Each killing was stupid and wasteful and showed a profound disconnection from humanity by each murderer involved in those crimes. And as far as hate crime legislation applies to murder, those three people are all dead. Who is going to tell any of their mothers that those crimes should not have equal investigation, prosecution, and punishment of those responsible? In the case of murder, society should put it's full resources and dedication towards the pursuit of justice. And these murderers deserved the full sorrow and wrath of society. They all damaged us as individuals and as a group. I believe it damages us more to attempt to rank the worth of those lives and deaths.

Regarding hate crimes legislation and the trial of Matt's murderers, in both court and the community, I believe that the use of the "gay panic" defense was abhorrent to the vast majority of the community. Yes, a few people could distract themselves from the horror of the crime by getting all religious or philosophical about homosexuality, but everyone I know was disgusted by the thought that anyone thought there was any excuse for the savage things that were done to Matt. Most everyone thought any act of hate or violence toward Matt was completely unjustified, but even unrepentant homophobes were aghast at the sick brutality of that crime. If the McKinney trial had proceeded, rather than the defendant changing his plea to guilty, I truly believe the jury would have made it very clear how inexcusable our community found his crime and his defense. Honestly, I believe that he would have had a better chance for leniency if he had gone with a defense along the lines of "I was so tweeked out on meth I barely knew which was was up." With or without a hate crimes law, I really hope that any community would react with horror and anger to any violent crime, regardless of its motivations. I find terror in all violence, be it random or targeted for whatever reason, and I believe all of it damages society.

Regarding hate crimes legislation for acts of intimidation and incitement of violence: what is wrong with us if we don't already have laws that punish those sorts of actions toward any individual or group? If two rival softball teams start harassing or threatening one another, it is damaging to our society. If the groups are different teams, gangs, or religious groups, I find any threats or violence bizarre and unacceptable. Yes, the amount of fear created in the targeted group may vary, but it all comes from a similar tribal place, and can all lead to terrible consequences. I believe it is in our society's best interests to thoroughly condemn any such behavior for any reason, and if acts of intimidation and incitement of violence aren't already illegal, and that's what hate crimes legislation will do, then I guess I'm for it.

A note, though: by the time a person reaches the point that they'll physically assault or murder someone for reasons covered by hate crime laws, it is already too late. Hate crime laws in those cases seem like their purpose is to assuage the guilt of society, rather than to prevent crimes in that category. Rodger's and Hammerstein had it right in South Pacific: "You've got to be carefully taught." If we're serious about stopping bias crimes or hate crimes or whatever term you would like to use, we need to fix our culture. We need to emphasize our interconnectedness and strengthen our belief in some sort of inherent human worth and dignity. We need to let our differences make us stronger rather than allowing our fear of differences to make us weaker.